“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing
that we’ll ever do.”
Have you heard that a recent study in a major scientific journal proved that half of the stories from our past are false? It’s easy to see this in a few ways.
First, when you are talking to family members or longtime friends and both your versions of the same exact event are totally different. Or when someone’s version of a story they’ve been telling for years seems to get bigger and bigger as the years go by. That ten pound fish they caught is now 30 pounds. Or their first born, who took his first step at twelve months. Now as the story goes twenty years later, he was running at eight months.
Here’s the video that goes along with this post:
Do you know what the good thing about our made up stories is as they relate to our worry and anxiety? It’s that if most of our stories are made up anyway, this means we can start making up new ones that will serve us better.
Let me give you an example. Say you were degraded by someone for so many years, you started believing their insults. You formed beliefs about yourself based on those insults. And the stories you made up about yourself around them are really negative.
Say you recently realized the truth. That this was going on without you even realizing it. That you’re actually an amazing, beautiful, strong, great person. Time to change those stories!
I have a personal story that relates to this. Since I’ve always had so many fears, I just naturally thought I was a fraidy cat in all ways. About a year ago when I was talking with my brother Pete, we started reminiscing.
My memories of my childhood, by the way, are vague at best. Talking to him, though, is like opening this amazing time capsule. He remembers everything. I’m not exactly sure what we were saying in that conversation, but he said something I’ll never forget.
He said, “Don’t you remember, Paula? You were like a daredevil. You were always trying to keep up with everything John (my older brother who’s a year older than Pete) and I were doing.”
He gave some examples, like us riding our Big Wheels down a huge hill. Being the little one compared to them, my father would tell me to just go up halfway. Pete said I was always determined to start at the top of the huge hill and he remembers the intent look on my face riding down it.
I love that story! It was such a blessing to hear that. Can you imagine thinking all of your life that you are a totally scaredy cat, then to learn that at times, you were a determined little daredevil? What a gift I was given that day.
How can you tell if some of your stories are ones that haven’t been serving you? Just think about what areas of your life you’ve been struggling with. When you start digging deep, you’ll start uncovering the stories. Those stories have been stunting you in some way.
Since plenty of your stories are made up, it’s time to start changing them. Come up with better ones.
Do you think making up new stories seems insincere? The truth is that not only does each of us live our lives from our personal made up stories, but we all operate from made up stories in other ways.
The best advertising and the best brands know how to manipulate us with their stories. That’s why you choose to buy a pair of $80 Nike’s over the Walmart brand. Or a pair of Levi’s or a Kate Spade handbag.
That’s why we keep seeing Colonel Sanders reincarnated in all the KFC commercials. So we keep connecting with his story.
Write this statement 5-10 times with different descriptions. When you’re done, take a look at
them and if they’re mostly positive, that great. If they’re mostly negative, then the stories you’ve been telling yourself around these subjects have not been serving you. Come up with some new ones.
I was a _______________ kind of kid.
Thanks for reading!
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