“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help and what they cannot.”
Are you wondering whether or not you might be an ‘angry’ person? By ‘angry’ I mean more than letting the F-bomb fly when you stub your toe. (Do people still say F-bomb?)
Or the healthy types of anger, like when you see injustice, for instance, and it causes you to want to help out in some way. Or when it feels like an injustice is done to you, which prompts you to stand up for yourself in a mature way.
I was almost going to write ‘and more than just the everyday type of anger’ above. But, decided not to. Because, it’s like my Mama used to say. Just because everyone is doing something, doesn’t make it right. (Truth bomb: I never called my mother Mama. It just fit nicely here:)
And that can be the case these days with the everyday type of anger. Anger, complaining, victimhood and blame are so rampant, they just seem normal. But, let me ask you this:
Do you want to be ‘normal’ or do you want to live a really happy life?
So, forget being normal. Forget going along with everyone else. And let’s get you happier.
You can watch the video that goes along with this post here:
Answer these ten questions to find out if you are an angry person:
- How often do you get angry on a typical day? Big and little things?
- Do you find yourself complaining a lot? You might be saying right now that talking things out with others is healthy. That it’s good to get things off of your chest, instead of bottling it all up inside? I totally agree. But, what I’m talking about is different. With complaining, you’re not looking for solutions. It’s mostly a lot of blame. Talking things out in a healthy way is working on solutions.
- Are you in ‘moods’ or grouchy often? In fact, does your family or the people around you know when they need to stay clear away from you?
- Do you snap easily at strangers? Like the person checking your items out at the store; waiters at restaurants; customer service people on the phone?
How about when someone cuts you off in traffic and your finger automatically goes up? (Is this one just me? God, I try soooo hard with this one sometimes.)
- Do you snap at your family often? Do you always seem to have a good excuse for this, though? Or maybe you joke it off right after (even though the damage is done)?
- Did you come from an angry home as a child? Even if it was just one person who was always angry? What about expressing your own feelings? Were you allowed to express your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly? Were you listened to? Were you comforted? Were you protected? Did you know you were loved?
- Were you the victim of aggression, abuse, or bullying when you were younger?
- Do you remember having a short fuse as a child? Like a kid who is naturally shy, for instance, could you be wired to run on the angry side?
- Do you proudly hold grudges – even for years?
- Do you get accused of being insensitive and mean, but in your eyes, you’re just being funny?
Did you answer ‘yes’ to many of the questions? Did some of them open your eyes? Any surprises?
As you can see, there’s no score to the questions. Just by reading them and thinking about the answers for a few seconds, you’re able to gain some insights. Were there a few that you answered ‘yes’ to, but most of them you answered ‘no’? Maybe for you, anger is something you can work on to become a more relaxed, calmer, and even more grateful person.
If you answered ‘yes’ to many of them, this might have opened your eyes to the fact that anger is a bigger issue for you than you thought. You might be ready now to really work on your anger – because you can see a little more clearly that it’s been causing you and possibly others around you a lot of stress and strife.
Let me just say that I am a huge proponent of psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counselors and experts who can teach you and support you in dealing with things like anger issues.
Whether or not you get guidance from experts or start learning about letting go of anger yourself – it could be one of the best things you ever do for yourself. And for the people around you.
It’s not about blaming yourself, though. Not at all. We’re all human. And no one is perfect.
Tomorrow’s a new day.
We always get a chance to start over.
So, where do you even begin to start letting go of your anger?
More like: Where do you need to head? Right inside your head, actually. (Wow, that’s a really bad pun;)
In order to become a less angry, happier person, you need to get to the programming stored in your subconscious mind. EVERYTHING we do, everything we think, all of our habits and our attitudes – all come from our programming.
And that also means all the results we are getting in our lives. Do you want to know how your programming runs? Just look around at the different areas of your life.
This is actually my specialty. If you want to really get into your programming and begin replacing all the negative stuff that’s been blocking your happiness, you can read a lot of my other blog posts, get my book Finally Worry Free on Amazon (You can get a free E-book on the homepage) and start watching my Youtube videos.
We all have innate tools that can help us change our programming. Tools like affirmations, feelings and visualization, for instance. In fact, I like to say that we learned our abc’s in school. The foundation of our language. It’s time we learned our afv’s the foundation of our subconscious minds.
Affirmations to change our negative self talk. Our self talk is how our minds translate our thoughts. We have a silent monologue going on in our minds all day long. And the simple fact is if you’re not happy, your self talk is negative.
Feelings are such an underrated, yet powerful tool. We usually think of feelings as just reactions. But, a person can learn to create positive, powerful feelings that help change their programming. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says, thoughts are the language of our minds and feelings are the language of our bodies.
And visualization, since our minds think in pictures. Just think of the images playing over and over again in the back of our minds when we are fearful and worried. They’re usually tied to strong feelings and repetitive thoughts. That’s why the practice of visualization – intentionally creating positive pictures – is empowering.
And at the core of these three tools is our beliefs hidden deep inside. We live out of our beliefs. They say ‘I am. . .’ and what follows are the two most important words in the English language.
This might sound like a lot of time and hard work. But, I have found ways to make this all easy. I didn’t say fast, though. It’s really an ongoing, life-long process. But, you can ‘sneak’ in new habits and practices that reach into your programming all throughout your days.
I can brag about being knowledgeable on the subject of our programming. I’ve personally studied this subject almost my whole adult life. I’ve read hundreds of books on it and I’ve written two books myself.
But, I am not an expert on the subject of anger. There are whole books written on this subject that you could learn so much from. My intent with this article is to just help you gain awareness into whether or not you think your anger could be a big issue. Like I mentioned above, I highly recommend you seeing an expert, like a psychologist, if you really want to overcome this in yourself.
All this being said, I’m going to give you a few of my own insights into anger here.
Anger, to me, can clearly be a habit that we can see. Like flying off the handle, treating people poorly, etc. Things we can see on the outside.
There’s also passive aggression – which is a whole other ball of wax and way past my expertise.
But, what I do gravitate towards, as I mentioned, is our programming. And I believe a lot of a person’s anger is stored deep inside – as trapped emotions and energy – from childhood experiences and situations.
There’s so many possible reasons for this. Child psychology books are filled with them. And it’s not about blaming a person’s parents. They did the best they could with what they knew.
Just know that it is possible to begin clearing out things like trapped emotions and energy. It’s possible to begin healing and letting go of things that maybe you never thought you could ever let go of or get past. I have a lot of exercises in my books that can help you with this.
Anger is also tied to our beliefs deep inside. Learning to change negative beliefs that we are operating out of is life-changing. The thing is most of our beliefs were formed when we were very young. We came up with conclusions about ourselves, about others, and about the world based on what we were experiencing.
But, we were young and naive back then. That’s why a lot of our beliefs are wrong and are not serving us. Yet, they are so ingrained in us. And since our subconscious minds are 95% stronger than our conscious minds, we can still be operating out of them, no matter how hard we’ve tried to change them.
But, it is possible to begin changing them once you know and start using the tools.
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”
Thanks for reading!
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