“Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds.”
Here’s an exercise that seems insignificant, but is a powerful way to uncover what’s really stopping you from being as happy as you wish you were.
Here’s the video that goes along with this post:
Keep a piece of paper or a small notebook with you during the day. When anything at all bothers you, log it in. You just need a few words to do this.
For example, when you’ve gotten worried, jot down the time and place. When you’ve gotten upset, frustrated, jealous, etc. just write a quick note on that paper, so you’ll remember it later in the day.
Then at the end of the day, take your paper or notebook out, and take a look at what you jotted down. Spend a little while digging in to uncover the negative beliefs that are at the core of each one of those items on the list.
Steps To This Simple, But Powerful Exercise:
- Keep a piece of paper and pen with you today.
- Whenever something bothers you, jot it down quickly. Just one short sentence or a few words.
- Later when you have a little while to yourself, take the paper out to work on this.
- Explore each note you wrote down. Dig into it. A pang of jealousy is not just a pang, for example. There is a belief at the core of this. What is it? What do you think you are lacking in? When did this start? You can use the 5 Whys Exercise below to uncover and begin healing.
The 5 Whys Exercise to Uncover Hidden Beliefs Keeping You Unhappy:
“Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Here’s a beautiful exercise for awareness, among other benefits. It looks like a long process, but it only needs to take a little while.
- Relax, get comfortable, and take a few cleansing breaths.
- Imagine a kind, caring woman is sitting next to you. Her hand is on your shoulder, if you’d like to picture that, and she is there to listen to you and support you.
- Tell her something that’s bothering you.
- Pause for at least a few seconds, while you imagine she just heard what you told her.
- She then asks you, “Why?” She’s asking why that bothers you so much. She wants to understand you and what you are going through.
- You respond. Then she repeats, “Why?”
- You respond again. And again, she asks, “Why?”
- What she is getting you to do is to uncover what is really at the core of your feelings. She’s having you go deep. She wants to know when they first occurred and how, so she can help you heal and move on.
- Once you feel like you’ve reached the time in your childhood where that belief was formed, let her say some comforting words to you. Let her console you, if you need her to. Let her
explain things. Let her tell you whatever you need her to.
- Have you and her come up with a new belief.
- Think back now to what was bothering you at the beginning of this exercise. You should not be bothered by it anymore. If you still are, repeat this exercise again until you reach down to the belief at its core.
- Finish this visualization any way you’d like. Imagine thanking her, for example.
This is such a powerful visualization. Use it as often as you can to keep digging into the beliefs at the core of your worries.
Thanks for reading!
If you’d like to get my newsletter, just click here.